Invader Zim: Galactic Adventures of Awesomeness
by Archangel07
Summary: Zim has been on Earth for five years now and has yet to truly rain some doom upon the filthy heads of his doomed enemies. A thrilling series of tales starring Zim, GIR, Tak, Dib, and Gaz amongst others. Rated T , may change pending future chapters.
1. Episode 1: The Nightmare Continues

The following is a story of my own creation based on Invader Zim, which I do not own. A series of thrilling tales of action, comedy, possibly romance, and of course insanity. Please feel free to give comments or suggestions. Hope you enjoy!

**Invader Zim:**

**GALACTIC ADVENTURES**

* * *

**Chapter One: **

**Part One:**

**The Nightmare Continues**

"GIR! Put that down at once! You're going to cause an explosion!" cried the Irken Invader, a look of terror and frustration upon his green face.

"Awww, master sounds grumpy... somebody needs a hug!" The little robot dropped the cylinder that was in his hands, causing the Irken to flinch. The Standard Information Retrieval unit ran wildly and extended his arms, trying to hug his master determinedly. Luckily there was no explosion, however GIR managed to latch himself around his Irken master's torso, squeezing tightly.

"GIR! Release me this at once! Zim.. cannot breath.. " Zim choked. He clawed and shoved at the eccentric little SIR unit, trying to pry him off. After several moments GIR spyed the toy stuffed moose lying on the floor and promptly let go of his master, bolting to collect his toy.

"YAY! Moose!" He then proceeded to roll around on the floor, hugging and playing with the toy moose. Zim let out a long sigh, turning away from his servant and back to his vid screen and looked up at it longingly.

He'd been on Earth for five years now. Well, five earth years. Five long years, filled with attempts to destroy the little blue world. Plots, plans, schemes, none of which had succeeded in making the planet ripe for conquest by the Irken Armada carrying out Operation Impending Doom II. Try as he might, his ingenius ploys were nearly always faulted. Whether by the obnoxious Dib-monkey, his own servant, GIR, or his own bad luck. Five years, and he'd managed to save Earth more times than he'd come close to dooming it. He had come close though... oh so very close...

Shutting his large red eyes, Zim leaned forward and rest both of his hands on the console. It'd been a hard habit to break, giving status reports to the Armada. Nearly two years had passed since the Almighty Tallest had become so fed up with Zim, they spelled out everything so clearly, that he could no longer believe that everyone was lying to him. In truth, the Tallest were the only one's lying to him. His mission was a lie. A great, big, mockery of lies and deceipt! And more lies! The Tallest sent him on a 'secret mission' to a 'vital planet' for the Armada. The reality was that the Almighty Tallest wanted nothing more than to get rid of Zim, whose his overeagerness and thirst for conquest ruined Operation Impending Doom I. Zim could see it now. Earth was such a backwater planet, the Irken Empire had no desire to acquire it. His world shattered around him as the Tallest laid things out. It was never official, but as far as they were concerned, he, Zim, was defective. The Tallest rebanished him, though instead of FoodCourtia, they simply forbid him from returning home to Irk or having any further interaction or communication with the Empire. With a sudden wave of emotion, he opened his eyes slightly and clenched his hand into a fist, slamming it against the console.

"Zim is -not- defective." he growled through gritted teeth. Zim hadn't yet figured out what could be wrong with him to warrant being labeled as 'defective'. He was brilliant, ingenious, and resourceful. But why was he still on Earth if neither he nor it were any importance to the Empire? Even though his mission was fake, he'd continued attempting to conquer the little blue planet. Perhaps it was his pride that refused to let up and prove to everyone that the blood of an Invader ran deep within him. Like giant, radioactive rubber pants. The pants commanded him! Or maybe it was because he had no where else to go. Sad as it sounded, Earth was now more of a home than Irk was. He was almost completely alone. The only companions of his were GIR and the computer A.I. brain that was integrated into the house. There was only one being that he now felt a very, -very- slight kinship with. The Irken Tak, who'd come to Earth seeking revenge on him. She nearly stole his 'mission' from him in effort to humiliate Zim and appease the Tallest in naming her an Invader in his place. He despised her, yet admired her nerve. He now had some idea how she must have felt in her 'exile' as a janitorial drone on Dirt, even if he still didn't beleive it was really his fault. He did still loathe her, of course. Growling loudly again as his thoughts again dwelled on his banishment. He raised a fist and shook it. "One day, which... is not today, they will rue that day that they cast aside the mighty ZIM!"

Looking at his reflection in the blank screen, he pondered on how much he'd changed. Eighteen earth months ago, Zim had a growth spurt. He had achieved a shocking new height that did not nearly give him a run for Almighty Tallest, but certainly would have given him considerable status. It was a good thing, since his routine hadn't changed much from day one. He still attended human 'Skool', and while he advanced through the ranks of their archaeic learning institution alongside his classmates, he did not change much. His cover would surely have fallen if he hadn't grown to his new stature. The Dib-monkey had constantly commented that Zim was so small compared to the rest of them, yet still no one noticed or simply didn't care what Dib had to say.

Dib and his sister, Gaz were the only two humans that Zim knew of that knew Zim was not human. Dib's constant efforts to thwart Zim's conquest of Earth and expose him as alien never let up, even as they entered 'Hi-Skool.' Interference became more and more infrequent as Zim's attempts became less and less enthusiastic. Zim would admit, lately he hadn't had any good ideas. Lately was an understatement. It had been quite some time since a plan of his had any merit at all. All in all, Zim had convinced himself it was best to take a break from bringing humanity to it's knees and merely blend in and bide his time.

This hiatus in world domination gave Zim some insight on human culture that he hadn't noticed before. In public, he managed to communicate more like them, using slang and curse words, though there were times where he would still go into a rant without realizing it. His disguise was still rather obvious, though only to Dib and Gaz. He still wore contact lenses over his red, Irken eyes, and he still wore a hairpiece that hid his antennae. Now it was a bit lengthier. Not by much, but enough to spike and make it more in keeping with 'teeeen-age' trends. He'd also taken to wearing human garments while in public. In place of his Irken uniform, he veiled himself in blue jeans and a dark red hoodie. He had not yet given up his gloves, but he did replace his Irken boots with more humanesque ones. Zim turned back to look in the mirror after he'd donned his disguise and narrowed his eyes, smirking widely. "Sometimes I amaze even myself..." Stepping into the lift along with Gir, they rose back up into his makeshift house that hid the base beneath it. He'd changed the exit that was the toilet, to the refridgeration unit which was more accomodating to his newer physical dimensions.

"GIR, I must go to Skool now. Mind the base and continue monitoring Earth broadcasts." Zim said calmly as he paused at the front door. He must have said it a million times before. The SIR unit stood up straight, the panels in his shoulders and chest, along with his eyes flashing a brilliant red as he saluted.

"Yes sir!" The moment Zim stepped out of his base, GIR turned cyan again and stuck his tongue out. Giggling madly to himself he plopped down on the couch and turned on their vid-screen. "I love this show..."

Several hours later...

Strolling up the walkway guarded by security gnomes, Zim had a very foul look on his face along with a nasty looking burn on his forehead. Someone had shoved his face into his tray of something called 'meet-lofe' during lunch and of course it didn't sit well with his flesh. The Irken paused and looked over his shoulder. A police cruiser sat parked across the cul-de-sac, though no human monkey sat inside. No, he was being paranoid. There's no way the human creatures knew of Zim, and if they did there would be more than a single law enforcement drone to seize him.

Shaking his head, Zim turned back and went through his front door. GIR had been sitting in the same place since Zim had left, staring in awe and amazement at the incredibly horrid Earth television programs. "GIR, status report." Zim commanded. The robot simply looked up at the Irken and waved excitedly.

"They gots some new tacos at the Krazy Taco Stand!" He giggled madly again, kicking his feet and looked up at the ceiling with longing. "I love the little tacos... I love them gooood."

"_There was a visitor while you were away, master."_ The computer's bored, droning voice called out.

"WHAT? A visitor? Zim does not get visitors! Tell me you set the security gnomes on the intruder!" Cried the Irken irritably, looking from GIR to a screen which was lowering from the ceiling, showing what appeared to be footage of a human police officer knocking on the front door. The vid then showed GIR answering in his dog costume, the officer reaching down and patting GIR on the head before taking a step inside. After a moment the screen went fuzzy and displayed nothing but static for fifteen seconds before showing GIR sitting on the couch, watching TV. "GIR! You let that filthy human violate the sanctity of my base?"

"Oh yeah... he was nice! He gave me some candy!" The SIR unit held up a bright purple lollipop and waved it at Zim before sticking his tongue out and giving it a lick.

"Computer!" Zim shouted as he bolted for the lift in the refridgeration unit. "What was that blurry fuzzy nonsense? Run a diagnostic!" He climbed inside and began to descend down into the depths of his lair.

_"Interference with the monitoring equipment. There was an attempted security breach on my systems after GIR let the human into the house."_

"A breach? How far did it go? What was it after?" cried the Irken louder than ever, sounding slightly panicked.

_"That is currently unknown. The pirate signal was cut off by the source as it stepped into the elevator."_

"WHAT? You... you let this creature down here with all of my equipment? The police drone will surely call others to attempt to apprehend us! We'll be exposed! What's wrong with yoooouuuu?" The lift doors slid open to the control room of Zim's base and a tall figure hidden beneath a black duster and a wide brimmed hat stood staring at the vid-screen. An enormous star chart was being displayed. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!" Zim proclaimed loudly before rising up off the ground on his robotic spider legs, glaring at the intruder.

_"He was granted access by using Irken military indentification."_ The computer droned casually, offering a yawn at the end. The figure turned away from the screen to face Zim. The duster's collar was buttoned shut, hiding the intruder's face. Raising it's head, Zim found himself staring into a pair of very dark blue Irken eyes.

"Wha-wha-whaaaaaa.." Was all Zim managed to sputter, the joints in his robotic spider appendages wobbling slightly, causing him to slump and look considerably less threatening. He shook in place slightly before the arms retracted into his PAK, letting him fall onto his Irken butt. The figure approached, towering over him and with a steely voice he called out,

"Invader Zim..."

* * *

Notes: Starts out a tad seriously. Don't you worry, we're just blending in with the indiginous life, analyzing their weaknesses, and preparing the planet for the coming badness. Yay.


	2. Episode 1: The Nightmare Continued

**Chapter Two:**

**Part Two**

**The Nightmare Continued**

Zim sat leaning back on his hands, staring up at the towering Irken figure. He blinked several times and after a long silence, the figure pulled the hat away. A pair of long antennae flowed up from the top of the head, then down the back of it. One of them may have been prosthetic, Zim couldn't tell at this angle. What could be seen of his face revealed that his skin was a darker shade of green more uncommon amongst Irkens and several scars etched into the flesh, some disappearing beneath the collar of the duster. The Irken was male. If not the antennae, then the eyes definitely gave it away. The seemed almost black until light refracted out of them. Now that he thought about it, the Irken reminded Zim of the Dib-stink's life breather, the Professor. Or perhaps the one that the Gaz-creature played as on her 'video game'. Something to do with vampire pigs.

"Invader Zim..." he said softly. "I seem to recall you being a great deal shorter." Zim found his voice again.

"Who are you?" he exclaimed loudly. The taller Irken had begun to answer before being interrupted. Multiple times.

"My name-"

"Who are you?"

"I'm-"

"Who are you?"

The Irken narrowed his dark eyes and bent over, reaching a hand out to grab Zim by the front of his hoodie and allowed himself a face to face.  
"Be quiet..." He said icily, hauling the smaller Irken to his feet. His long, thin fingers released their grip on Zim's hoodie and he stood up straight. While not quite as towering as before, he still stood taller than Zim. Perhaps even as tall as the Tallest. "The name is Scorn."

"Scorn.. what kind of a name is Scorn?" Zim raised a brow as he surveyed the Irken in full, placing one of his three fingers against his chin. Scorn crossed his long arms in front of his chest. "That hardly sounds like an Irken name."

"It isn't, and it's also not important at the moment. Computer. Please enlighten your master."

_"He is what the humans might refer to as a 'bounty hunter'. He looks for... y'know.. .bad guys and... stuff."_ Zim's eyes went wide and he took a step back, clawing at the air between himself and Scorn.

"NO! He's after my blood! The Tallest already re-banished me, now they want my squeedlyspooch as a trophy!" Scorn furrowed his brow, tapping a booted foot impatiently. A vein pumped somewhere beneath his forehead as Zim continued wailing about the Tallest sending assassins to eliminate him. "I should have known! I should have known that Zim posed too great a threat to simply ignore!" A communicator came out of the top of Zim's PAK and bent in front of his mouth. "GIR! Get down here! NOW!"

Right on cue, the SIR unit came rumbling down a vent shaft and landed face first on the floor inbetween Zim and Scorn. He stood up and looked at Zim through the big eyes of his doggy disguise.

"Yes master?"

"GIR! Defensive mode!" ordered Zim, pointing at Scorn.

"Yes sir!" The robot said very seriously and saluted before rounding on the taller Irken, charging at him. GIR reached the Irken's feet and immediately wrapped himself around one leg, suddenly displaying very Earth dog-like qualities. Scorn's eye twitched in irritation. "I love you mister tall guy!"

"GIR that isn't helping!" Zim shouted, pointing a finger at the Irken bounty hunter. Scorn raised his foot and shook his leg until GIR fell to the floor, who got up and immediately tried to reattach himself. Reaching down and grabbing GIR by his head, the tall Irken picked him up and held him out at his arm's length.

"Are you both finished?" He raised one eyebrow, looking from GIR who was flailing his arms and legs trying to wrap himself around Scorn's arm, to Zim who still looked hopelessly lost and confused. GIR finally stopped flailing and the Irken let go of the robot, allowing him to fall to the ground with a dull thud.

"What are you doing all the way out here, if not to remove Zim's squeedlyspooch?" Zim queried.

"In due time. The first thing I need from you is to scan your SIR unit's memory banks." Scorn extended a long thin finger at GIR who started rolling around on the floor. There was an awkward silence and Zim gave the bounty hunter an incredulous look as though the Almighty Tallest had just named Invader Skoodge as the next Almighty Tallest.

"You... want to look through -GIR's- memory... ?" asked Zim, his tone suggesting that anything to do with going through GIR's head was a disaster waiting to happen.

"Indeed."

"I don't think there's anything in there to find that... makes any sense." The smaller Irken looked from Scorn down to GIR who looked up at his master, smiling happily. "What exactly do you expect to find in there?"

Scorn placed his hands behind his back, the serious look in his eyes unwavering. There was another long moment of silence, the hunter seemed to be using it as his answer, though another five minutes went by and Zim broke it.

"Well?" A dark blue eye twitched in irritated. Zim noticed, which meant that the bounty hunter realized he'd have to divulge -something-.

"Haven't you ever wondered why your SIR unit is so..." Scorn paused, tapping the top of his cranium as he searched for the right word. "...different?" he finished delicately.

"The Tallest said it was a top secret model that would fool the enemy!" Zim balled a fist and grinned. Rolling his eyes, Scorn shook his head.

"Yeah, sure... 'top secret'..." He rubbed what could be seen of his face. "It was constructed from pieces of several other SIR units, Zim."

"Of course..." Zim murmured softly, rubbing his chin with an impressed look on his face. "Made from the best parts of his robot brethren. I see... truly he IS superior!" he exclaimed excitedly, looking at GIR with a newfound respect. GIR was now curled up at Scorns' feet, rubbing against them

"Superior... right. There may be a set of coordinates I require locked away inside his memory." Taking a step forward, Scorn reached into a pocket on the front of his coat and protruded another lollipop, pink in color. GIR squealed with delight and jumped up, taking the bit of candy. With a pull of the zipper, his doggy ruse dropped to the floor.

"Wooooooooooooo, I'm naked!" Screamed the SIR unit, sticking the sucker into his mouth. "Ooooh, bubblegum..."

"You're not going to disassemble him are you?" Zim's left eye shot open widely while the other narrowed in suspicion.

"No. Just hook him into the computer so I can see what's inside."

"Zim does not simply help anyone!" Exclaimed the former Invader, placing his hands on his hips.

"You want something in exchange?" The bounty hunter's foot tapped impatiently again, blue eyes narrowing as he peered at Zim.

"I-" Before Zim could say more than one syllable, he was cut off by Scorn standing to his full height and began closing the gap between them as he spoke.

"I have little tolerance for games. Let me remind you, Invader Zim, I am your superior officer by both military rank and height. If you no longer recognize either of these as authority, then let me put it simply; I have enough things that explode in one pocket to level this pathetic excuse for a human city... My pockets are numerous as they are deep." The hunter was now face to face with Zim, bent over to impress his considerable height over the smaller Irken. Zim gulped once.

"Zim only requires a 'Please'..." He said quietly, his antennae twitching. Zim immediately added at the end, much quieter. "AndthatyouhelpZimprovehe'snotdefective..." he cleared his throat. Scorn narrowed his eyes further as he looked Zim over, snorting derisively and held out his much larger hand. They shook.

"Very well. Now lets get to work." Standing up straight, the Irken pulled his smaller counterpart up and rounded on GIR. Opening his head he discovered an obstruction blocking them from connecting the computer ables to GIR's brain.

"Oh yeah, I wondered what I did with that!" Gir said excitedly, reaching into his own head and pulling out a ham. Scorn squinted darkly at Zim who forced a smile and shrugged. They managed to plug GIR into the system without causing a power outage and a display of all of the information stored in the robot's memory banks was now up on the screen, waiting to be narrowed into a more defined search. GIR sat on the edge of the console kicking his feet merrily, his fleshy pink tongue laying into the lollipop. Zim removed the hairpiece, letting his antennae wave free and carefully took out the lenses that masked his red Irken eyes. He blinked once, rubbing them gently before turning to face Scorn with a determined look on his face.

"Where do we start?"

To Be Continued...


	3. Episode 1: The Nightmare Concluded Pt 1

**Chapter 3**

**Part Three**

**The Nightmare Concluded (Part 1)**

The two Irkens spent the better part of three hours probing GIR's brain for whatever it was that Scorn was looking for. Every time Zim inquired about what that might be, the hunter merely grunted and waved his hand dismissively. They sifted through hundreds of hours of Earth television programs, random tidbits, all of Zim's failed planetary domination attempts, and every single, little, insignificant micron of data that GIR still had active in his head. At first they had a hard time keeping GIR still and focused, though finally the _New_Angry Monkey Show managed to keep him occupied. Their lack of progress was clearly trying Scorn's patience, as Zim noticed that the claws on his long fingers were digging into the console. The hunter had resolved to pull GIR's brain out and crush it under his boot before they finally found something.

_"There seems to be a string of numbers here that does not belong." _The computer droned slowly. Scorn raised his hand immediately and uttered a quiet growl of victory. Reaching into another pocket, his fingers held out a tiny memory chip inbetween them.

"Copy the data." There was a haunted tone to his steely voice that sent a shiver down Zim's spine.

"Data streaming now..." Tapping a button, the chip flashed a green light the moment the transfer was complete. "All done here. So what is it?" Zim raised an eyebrow at the taller Irken who snatched up the memory chip, returning Zim's questioning gaze.

"In time, Zim..." He finally replied, stowing the chip into his pocket. Zim had the feeling that Scorn may need coercing into sharing exactly what this was all about, though resolved that now was not the time to try anything. The hunter pulled his sleeve up and revealed a metal gauntlet that wrapped around his wrist covered in buttons and intricate markings. Tapping one button, a holographic chronograph shined at them and Scorn glanced down to check the time.

"We're slightly ahead of schedule. Come, tea time." He turned and strode over to the lift, stepping inside. "Come." He said again, tapping his lag which spurred GIR to hop up and hobble over.

Zim followed reluctantly, stepping into the now cramped elevator and ascended back into the house. Scorn took a seat at the table and pointed at the end opposite of him, indicating for Zim to sit down. The hunter opened his coat and began rummaging inside. For a brief moment, Zim caught sight of a type of body armor he'd never seen before. Seeming to feel Zim's gaze, Scorn quickly produced a trio of mugs, a silver canister, and buttoned his duster closed again. The container bore an Irken radioactive material warning and all three mugs sported the Irken smiley face. His thumb began to unscrew the lid, causing Zim to flinch when it popped off, though relaxed as he saw a steaming dark liquid pour from it into each mug. Zim seemed confused though took up the mug when it was offered. The moment Scorn had pushed one in front of GIR, the robot held up the lava hot beverage and drank it in one gulp, causing his head to grow red hot from the heat.

"Brief me on your progress with this world, Invader." Scorn sat with one leg crossed over the other, holding the steaming up up. Zim found it extremely difficult not to answer, as he never let an opportunity to brag about his ingenuity. It especially helped that Scorn still referred to Zim as an invader, despite the fact he was a superior and obviously knew of Zim's 'defective' label. Over the next hour, Zim went through everything since the Great Assigning. The parent teacher night, the germ war, every one of his battles with Dib, the Planet Jackers, even those idiotic Collector Aliens. That one made Scorn laugh.

"'Mastery of the fusing technology'... good one." He shook his head, snickering quietly and lifted the mug to sip. Zim could still not see the lower half of the hunter's face, which made him wonder just how exactly he could sip when his mouth was blocked. He kept on, going over the cult of idiot humans who thought that the Voot Runner was a 'love ship', the Christmas where he pretended to be Santa Clause in order to teleport the humans off the planet to their dooms. Zim didn't think much of it, but he saved the incident with Tak for last. Scorn continued to listen, nodding his head on occasion and finally set the empty mug on the table.

"Your mission can hardly be described as routine. I'm actually amazed that you've lasted this long, what with all this interference."

"Zim is truly impressive, is he not?" The bounty hunter stared at Zim blankly.

"Persistent, to say the least. Tell me about this other Irken?"

"The Tak-beast? She blames me for her horrible life and had the nerve to try and steal my mission. Something to do with a magma pump and filling the Earth with snacks for the Tallest... Oh how I loath her..." Zim mumbled through his clenched zipper-like teeth.

"Tak..." Scorn repeated quietly, tapping his chin with his long index finger. "I have some bad news for you, Zim. Tak. We must locate her." The hunter stood up from the table and straightened out the wrinkles in his duster. The smaller Irken glared up at the taller, his right eye twitching in rage.

"N-no... I refuse to look for that... that devious... that -filthy- argh.. filth!" He shouted, shaking a fist wildly.

"Fine. Stay here. Remain useless... and defective." Scorn added the last word as he turned his back to Zim, heading for the front door. "Here. Enjoy this grenade as a consolation prize." He began rummaging through one of his pockets again, causing Zim to jump up and yell.

"Wait! I'll help you find Tak... but only if you tell me what you're really doing here on Earth."

"Soon as her whereabouts are established, I'll fill you in."

"Why does it have to wait until-"

"I hate repeating myself." Scorn interjected before Zim could finish his sentence. "Get your... disguise." There was a noise outside the front window, Zim and Scorn both turned to see Dib's face in the window with a camera and a shocked look. The moment he realized he'd been spotted, he took off across the yard. Scorn crossed to the window with alarming speed and watched as Dib, wearing some sort of black 'ninja' costume jumped onto a motorcycle and took off screaming down the street. The hunter pressed another button on his gauntlet and the eyes on the Irken logos that branded the mugs flashed for five seconds, beeping loudly before self-destructing in tiny explosions. Zim jumped in alarm.

"Woooo! Do that again!" Shouted GIR, clapping his hands.

"Wha-"

"Ensures my equipment doesn't fall into enemy hands. That is the human who plagues you?" Scorn stared out the window down the street where Dib had peeled out.

"Yes. The Dib has never stopped trying to expose me. Fortunately, everyone thinks he's crazy." Zim popped in both of his contact lenses and set the hairpiece atop his head. Scorn tapped another button on his gauntlet and a whirring sound emanated from it, followed by a full holographic disguise.

"Tell me where this 'Dib' lives. I will deal with him before we search for Tak." Zim allowed a very sinister grin to spread across his face.

-The Membrane Residence-

"Gaz, you're never going to believe this! Zim's called down reinforcements. I saw it with my own eyes." Dib, who was now standing in front of the couch in his home, looking quite ridiculous in his 'black ops' attire. Both he and his little sister, Gaz, had grown up normally over the past five years. Dib was now sixteen, Gaz was fourteen. Neither of them had changed all that much. Dib still wore his usual black clothes with a smiley face t-shirt. Gaz still wore a short, black dress with striped purple pants and shirt underneath it, the skull on her shirt now replaced by a large skull medallion hung on a silver chain. She sat on the end of the couch, immersed in her handheld GAMESLAVE 3 Turbo. She clenched her fist and grit her teeth, glaring up at Dib as his obnoxious interruption cost her a life.

"Your voice is stupid and annoying Dib... It's been ages since Zim tried anything, and do you really think he'd take help from anyone?" She said calmly, restarting the level and turning back to her game.

"I saw another alien with Zim, Gaz! I'm sure he's coming up with a new plan to take over the world."

"Only one, Dib? Zim's so bad at it... how much difference do you think one more alien is going to make? Now shut up, i'm trying to concentrate." Dib's heart sank slightly as once again no one, not even his sister who knew the same truth that he did, cared what he had to say. He sighed and went up to his room to change before vanishing out back into their garage. Gaz rolled her eyes. "Stupid..." A few minutes later, their doorbell rang. Professor Membrane, who had just come up from his laboratory answered to see a tall, a grizzly looking older policeman standing there with Dib's little green-skinned foreign friend to one side.

"Good evening. Professor Membrane?" The officer asked, his voice sounding very friendly.

"What can I do for you officer?" Membrane queried.

"May I have a word with your son, Dib?"

"What's this all about? Is Dib in some kind of trouble? He didn't trash another award ceremony at City Hall looking for Bigfoot, did he?" Membrane almost sounded concerned. With the way he talked, it was rather hard to tell.

"No, nothing like that sir. There was just a little incident at Skool today and I need a statement from him." Zim sighed, crossing his arms and shook his head. Clearly he didn't want to be here, though the officer gave him a small shove.

"Ahh, very well. He should be out back, come in." The door swung open and both Zim and the officer stepped into the house. Membrane led them through to the back door and pointed towards their garage. The door was cracked slightly and welding sounds were coming from it, flashing sparks could be seen through the crack. "Dib!" Membrane called out. "There's a policeman here who would like to speak with you! No mention of aliens or any of your parascience! I have to get back to my lab, officer. Please come down if you need anything further from me." He offered a polite nod and shook the cop's hand. "Oh my poor insane son..." Membrane disappeared into the house and Dib emerged from the garage, sipping a poop juicebox.

"What's up, this isn't about Mr. Shmackey slipping on that bologna is it? I already said I didn't start that food fight." Dib looked up at the police officer. The friendly look on his face disappeared immediately and Zim stepped out from behind him. "ZIM!"

"Hello Dib." Zim smirked and rest his hands behind his back, watching Dib back up into the garage door.

"What do you want, Zim? What've you done to that cop?" He pointed a finger furiously at Zim, then to the officer, then back to Zim again. "You let him go right now!"

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Dib. You see... the police drone works for me." Replied the Irken with a smug look on his face. Zim caught a look from the officer that made him clear his throat. "With me.. he works with me." Raising a hand, the officer pressed a button on his wrist and his elderly appearance flickered and faded, leaving Scorn standing towering over Dib in his Irken form.

Dib's mouth fell and he backed up again only to have no where to go.

"You... you're the one I saw with Zim at his base."

"You are a detriment to my mission, and his." The hunter narrowed his eyes at Dib.

"Dad! Gaz! I need help out here!" Hollered Dib. No answer came. Scorn approached slowly, pulling a long sword from inside his coat and pressed a button on the hilt, causing it to light up with energy. Dib raised an eyebrow, stopping a moment. "How'd you even fit that in there?" Scorn continued closing the distance between them.

"My pockets are vast, human."

"Have to do something... can't let it end here! Talking out loud again!" said Dib, looking around frantically for something, anything to help defend himself with. A light bulb went off in his head and he looked up towards the house and hollered. "Gaz! I know the combination for that code you've been looking for!" Almost on cue, Gaz came sauntering out of the house towards the garage, still playing her game.

"You know what happens if you've misled me, Dib. Speak." She said casually.

"Gaz, look I need your help!" Dib managed to pull her into the garage after dodging a swing from Scorn's energy sword. She gritted her teeth, eyes shooting open and growled darkly.

"I got up off the couch... you better have something or else..." She was interrupted by the sword piercing the garage door, slicing through it like butter. The Irken hunter pried the metal apart and slid inside followed closely by Zim. His cold, dark blue eyes narrowed as he stared Dib down, pointing the blade at him.

"Try up up down left right down up B A start select." Scorn said quietly, passing Gaz to round on Dib.

"Hey... that worked. Thanks, I guess..." She raised both of her eyebrows and finally looked up from her Game Slave and caught a look at Zim's Irken 'reinforcements'. Her jaw dropped and she nearly dropped her GS3 Turbo. "Vampire... Piggy Hunter?" She whispered in awe. Coincidentally, Scorn did look a great deal like the unholy swine slayer. The hunter looked at Zim for some sort of explanation, who shrugged and shook his head. Scorn rounded on Dib again and took another swing, though it looked as though he'd purposefully given Dib enough time to get out of the way. He grabbed hold of a tarp to keep from falling over completely, though pulled it free to reveal a small, single-seat Irken vessel. Zim narrowed his eyes.

"Tak's ship..." Scorn looked from the ship to Zim.

"Are you certain?"

"Without a doubt."

"Saves us some time." Scorn powered down the energy sword and sheathed it beneath his coat into one of his pockets. Zim frowned, jumping inbetween Scorn and Dib, pointing at the human.

"You aren't going to destroy him? Doom his unnaturally large head or anything?" Scorn pushed the brim of his hat up, allowing Dib and Gaz to see his eyes.

"No. He may prove more useful not doomed. Human, this belongs to Invader Tak. Confirm?"

"My head is not big!" Dib scoffed. "Yeah, this was Tak's ship. But it crashed into -my- yard and I salvaged it fare and square." He put his hands on his hips, looking very territorial.

"I'll make you a deal, Dib. You let me use the ship's onboard computer and in return, I'll let you keep it." Scorn raised both of his eyebrows slightly, peering at Dib. Zim clearly did not like the idea of making any kind of deal with Dib, but the fact that Scorn had his hands hidden inside his pockets made him stay silent.

"What do you want with it?" Dib looked very suspicious, his eyes darting back and forth between the two Irkens.

"Thirty seconds to comply." Scorn said calmly. Dib pulled Gaz aside and began whispering in very loud, hushed voices. Both Scorn and Zim could still hear them.

"What's do you think, Gaz? This is all real fishy."

"The only thing fishy about it is Vampire Piggy Hunter over there could have sliced you like sushi. Better do what he says, Dib." Gaz took another long look at Scorn, a smile twisting her mouth slightly before she turned back to her game and began playing with renewed vigor. "Though I don't care if he slices -you- up." Dib sighed in frustration, turning back to the Irkens and nodded.

"You can have a look... but you have to tell me something. You said 'Detriment to your mission and Zim's'. I know Zim's mission, what's yours?" Scorn gave Dib no reply as he pulled the entire tarp free of Tak's homemade Spittle Runner. He studied it for several long moments, circling it a few times as though judging it.

"You've been repairing it?"

"Y-yeah... so?" Dib raised an eyebrow.

"Impressive, for a human." Scorn placed a long fingered hand against the hull of the ship. It was now that Zim noticed that, contrary to other Tallest, Scorn had had all of his fingers, including a thumb.

"Oh please... Irken children can repair more complex devices." Zim snorted, crossing his arms, narrowing his eyes and frowning. Scorn popped the hatch, bending over to stick his head inside the craft. He was definitely too large to fit, at least comfortably. Dib's voice called out through the speakers.

_"Hey! What do you think you're doing? Intruder! You alien scum won't take me without a fight!"_ A long spider-like appendage came out of the back of his duster and he slid it into a port on the main console like it was a key. _"Stop that! Gaz! Do something! Stop hi-... Identification verified, Agent SCORN."_Dib's jaw dropped and he began to wave his arms in protest, though Gaz stuck out her foot and tripped him.

"Computer. Disengage security protocols."

_"Cannot comply Agent Scorn, personality imprint has locked out certain commands."_

"Restore previous imprint."

_"Processing..." _The computerized Dib's voice was faltering. _"Processing..."_Sixty seconds later, Dib's voice no longer came through the speakers. Tak's shrill voice shrieked, causing both Zim and Dib to wince. _"Hahahaha! Previous personality imprint restored! How may I be of service to My Tallest?"_

"Disengage security protocols. Now." Scorn's spider-leg twisted slightly as though it really were a key trying to open a lock. Zim tapped his foot impatiently, looking around Dib's garage. Even Gaz had turned her game off and was now watching the events unfolding.

"_Command verified. Security systems have been disengaged."_

"Access Escape Pod Launch logs." The Irken bounty hunter crossed his lanky arms in front of his chest, now tapping his own booted foot slowly.

"_Only one entry since construction. Displaying now."_The computer's screen flickered to life and brought up a log noting when Zim had 'out flown' Tak, causing her to lose control of the Spittle Runner.

"Display trajectory." His long, thin fingers danced across the console as information began scrolling down the screen. Several sparks emitted from one of the electronic systems and Scorn balled a fist, slamming it against the console. It flickered, then displayed as requested.

"_Pod's trajectory... assuming it didn't hit anything when that idiot Zim knocked it away."_Came Tak's digital voice. Zim seethed with anger, clenching his fists at being called an idiot by anything remotely close to Tak.

"Thank you computer. Lock engines, authorization code Feln-Blarg-Neener-One."

"_Command accepted."_ With that, the hunter pressed a few more keys on the console, putting the ship's computer into a standby mode and stood up straight.

"What? You can't do that! You said I could have the ship!" Dib cried in outrage, suddenly standing very close to Scorn with a finger pointing at him.

"You can. Never said I'd let you travel in it." Scorn tapped the button on his gauntlet, the holographic image of the grizzled old police officer suddenly flickering to life and veiling him. "Zim, let's go." He said quietly, the friendly tone hiding his his normally cold Irken voice. Without another word, he turned and exited the garage. Zim turned to face Dib and narrowed his eyes.

"I'll put you in your place some day, Dib-stink... Not today, but someday. Vengeance will by -mine-!" he exclaimed loudly. Gaz held up her soda and shook it vigorously before pointing it at Zim and letting it rip, coating him in the carbonated poop beverage. Zim hollered in pain. "It burns! Ahhhhhhhhh!", tripping as he scrambled around and stumbled out of the sliced door.

"Thanks Gaz... i'll get those dirty rotten aliens if it's the last thing I-" Dib was cut short as Gaz turned on him and gave him the same treatment, drenching him in poop soda.

"Seriously Dib, get a life." She rolled her eyes, flipping open her GS3 Turbo and began playing her game again as he strolled back into the house.

* * *

Notes: I had intended for this first 'Tale' to consist of the first three chapters only, but due to my error in proper organization, chapters one and two were quite a bit shorter than I meant them to be. Thus making chapter three quite a bit LONGER than I meant it to be. So Ch. 3 will be broken up into two parts.


	4. Episode 1: The Nightmare Concluded Pt 2

**EPISODE ONE**

**Part Four:**

**The Nightmare Concluded (Part 2)**

* * *

-Outside-

Scorn's rather bushy grey human eyebrow raised in surprise as he caught sight of Zim smoking. He shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck with a sigh.

"Zim... you haven't even adapted to the environment?"

"Ingenious... dousing me with that 'Classic Poop', I know. I have yet to find a good defense against this tactic." The hunter's human lip quivered in a snarl and his eye twitched in frustration.

"We have a lot of work to do..." he muttered quietly. "Have GIR prep the Voot Cruiser." They climbed into Scorn's commandeered squad car and the sped off back towards Zim's base. Zim wiped his face clean and the communicator came out of the back of his PAK.

"GIR! Come in!" barked the Invader.

"Yes master?" came GIR's voice, but there was a lot of background noise. It sounded like music.

"GIR, where are you? I need you home now!"

"Awww, but it was getting good!"

"GIR! Home! Now!" Zim shouted, shutting the communicator and retracting it back into his PAK. "Where is the pod, anyway?" Scorn was quite adept at driving the earthen combustion vehicle surprisingly enough, even if he was driving excessively fast.

"Close. According to the log, her pod had to have crashed on this planet's moon."

"She's been on the moon for four years now? How do you know she's even alive?"

"Irken PAK's are programmed to shut down non-essential systems when the wearer is critically wounded or stranded. Plus the Spittle Runner's pod would have turned into a stasis chamber after rescue seemed unlikely." Scorn took a sharp turn and flashed his patrol lights in a very Earthen police fashion to run through a red stoplight. Soon after they arrived back at Zim's cul-de-sac and he parked across the street. Zim hopped out. Scorn did not.

"Aren't you coming?" Zim raised both of his eyebrows, looking hesitant about going alone at this point.

"I cannot fit in the Voot, Zim. You must retrieve Tak's pod, I have other business that needs attending." The bounty hunter offered the invader a reassuring nod. Zim gave Scorn a salute and noticed GIR flying home on his own rocket feet. He waved Zim to go on and shut the door of the squad car, flashing his lights and sped off. "Lets hope they don't kill each other while I'm gone..." he said to himself.

Zim wasn't sure what to make of this new development, but it gave him cause for suspicion. This 'Agent Scorn' -could- fit in the Voot if Zim scooched the seat up a little. Removing his disguise, he stepped into the lift and ascended to the attic where the Voot was kept. The attic was a bit dusty. Opening the cockpit and stepping inside, Zim realized that the Cruiser was indeed smaller than he remembered. Of course, he was smaller then so that must be why. He'd have to make the ship a bit bigger when he had some free time. GIR hopped in alongside Zim, now free of his doggy costume and kicked his feet, smiling happily.

"Yay! We're goin' on a trip!"

"Just to the Moon, GIR. We have to go ah...'rescue'... TAK." He shuddered as he said the words aloud, but if restored his status as an Invader, then he'd make that sacrifice. GIR's eyes lit up and he shouted loudly.

"Yaaaaaaay! We gonna get MiMi too? I likeded MiMi!"

"Yesyes! We'regoingtogetitaswell..." Zim grumbled darkly as the Voot's engines powered up. The top of the house opened and the launch platform tilted back, a countdown displaying on the screen.

3...

2...

1...

In an instant the Voot Cruiser's engines roared and sent the Irken ship soaring up into the night sky. Well, not exactly 'roaring', but there was quite a bit of centripetal force involved. GIR screamed wildly in excitement as they broke atmo. It'd been a long time since Zim had taken the Voot out and he found it extremely peaceful. His hands gripped the controls and for once, he felt like an Invader again. Giving the stick a jerk to the left, the Voot spun in that direction. He gave it a good left to right and put the Voot through a barrel roll, grinning widely.

"No time to enjoy this now, there's a mission to complete." Zim said to himself out loud and took the Voot towards the Moon. He was reminded with another reason why Earth wasn't labeled valuable to the Irken Empire. The planet's moon was a barren rock, nothing but craters, craters, and more craters. Even with sensors running at their max settings, Zim doubted there would be anything there to find. What seemed like hours had passed. Glancing at his mission time, only twenty minutes had passed and Zim shook his fists madly, shouting in outrage.

"Curse this incredibly boring little mooooon!" Zim was in the middle of howling in outrage when the console blipped. GIR was the one to notice.

"Master?"

"Not now, GIR. I'm expressing my distaste for this pathetic assignment."

"There was a little beep! Beep is good isn't it?" The SIR unit pointed at the screen that was displaying the location a few hundred meters away which could be possible technology. The Voot's thrusters vectored the craft to investigate their find. As the blip grew louder and more frequent as they came closer, Zim was glad they'd be leaving the barren moon and be one step closer to proving his effectiveness. The cruiser came to a stop and Zim positively seethed with rage as he glared out the screen at what the sensors had picked up.

"GIR, that is not Tak's pod." He pointed a gloved finger towards what looked like a NASAPLACE Lunar Explorer. "-That- is junk, GIR. Stupid, useless, filthy, human junk!" Zim strummed a few keys and the Voot's weapons came online. He slammed his fist on the big pink FIRE! button and sent a pulse laser searing through the vacuum at the outdated human spacecraft and cackled maniacally as it exploded into pieces. He spent several long moments laughing diabolically as if he'd destroyed the Earth's most precious piece of equipment and it wasn't until GIR pointed out that the sensors were still beeping.

"Master, it's still blipping and stuff."

"What is this?" Zim hunched over the console and narrowed his eyes, the Irken ocular implants zooming in on the settling debris and dust cloud. The Spittle Runner's pod had been laying right behind the NASAPLACE lander. "GIR, it -was- here! Victory belongs to Zim!" He said smugly, lowering the Voot and latching a docking clamp to the Irken pod and Zim felt a fresh wave of determination as he'd completed his assignment. He wasn't really defective, was he? No. What was the human expression? Not a chance in hell.

-Planetside-

Zim set the Voot down gently on the landing pad in his base, climbing out of it as it powered down. Tak's pod was still covered in a thick layer of frost despite having been brought through Earth's atmosphere. He placed his hand against the protective screen and wiped away a bit of the ice particles to see inside. Tak lay there along with her SIR unit, MiMi, which was in several pieces. Her helmet was polarized, blocking him from seeing her face. He flipped the release switch on the side of the pod. Nothing happened.

"Computer! Lower the pod down into the laboratory! We must cut Tak out!" Zim said determinedly. A claw lowered from the ceiling and took hold of the pod, wrenching it free from the Voot and took it into the depths of Zim's lair. Zim followed in the lift and stepped out, immediately laying out tools. Taking up a buzzsaw, he turned the blade on and pressed it against the hull of the pod. Sparks flew everywhere and after a moment it broke the saw's blade, sending shards flying into the wall behind Zim. He stopped and looked back at what could have probably ended him and growled fiercly. "Stupid Tak, building a good ship..." Next he tried regular cutting torch. The flame wasn't sufficient in heat to melt through the alloy. Zim gritted his teeth and pulled on a pair of goggles as he reached for a laser cutter. He'd flipped the switch and the beam reflected from the hull and bounced up into the ceiling, slicing one of the computer's robotic arms off. The machine fell to the floor and crumpled, the computer giving a very bored, unconvincing noise of 'pain'.

"_Owww. Be careful, master!"_

"Zim's patience is wearing thin..." He throw the laser cutter down and his robotic spider legs sprang out of his PAK, aiming at the pod. At that moment, the computer interrupted him.

"_Master, Agent Scorn has returned... perhaps he may have luck cracking the shell?"_

"Good idea, computer! We'll let the tall one hurt himself trying to free the Tak-beast." Zim turned to look at the lift and a few moments later the doors slid open, Scorn walking free. The shoulders of his duster were a bit dirtier than before, seemingly covered in soot. Zim made a mental note to ask about it, and if Scorn wouldn't tell, he'd analyze it and figure it out himself. "Taller Scorn... I have retrieved Tak's pod, but it's proving difficult to open."

The bounter hunter raised an eyebrow, looking slightly alarmed at being called 'Taller'. "None of that 'Taller, Tallest, or Agent' nonsense... Scorn, please." He said quietly and approached the pod. "Allow me." Withdrawing his sword and firing it up, the energy blade received no resistance from the pod as he sliced it open.

"You must share this technology with Zim at some point..." Zim said as he narrowed his eyes at the spectacle, the wheels in his head turning at all the things he could do with such a weapon. Tak's body lay limp against the seat. She was just as he remembered. Zim pulled Tak free from the pod and placed her on his workbench, wrestling to pull the helmet off of her head. He struggled and growled as he pulled at it with no luck until he spied a lock and furrowed his brow, flipping it and popping helmet free easily. Zim hadn't seen Tak in four years and he felt something in the pit of his squeedlyspooch that he couldn't quite identify. Was it just loathing? Anger? Or something a little deeper? Perhaps he was anxious? Even longing to see another Irken face? He had met Scorn, but he was unfortunately similar to the Tallest whom he did resent at the moment... Zim shook his head and came back into focus as Scorn hooked her PAK into the computer.

"Life-support is functioning. She is technically alive, but her PAK is low on power. Your computer doesn't have the proper transfer device."

"_How do you know?"_ The computer said indignantly.

"We'll have to transfer from PAK to PAK..." Scorn said slowly. Zim and GIR looked around and did not see a PAK present on the hunter's back and he made no sign of opening his coat to show if he had one underneath.

"Zim will have to... give power from his own PAK then..." Zim sighed through gritted teeth. A cable snaked out of the side of Zim's survival unit and he took hold of the lead. Scorn pried open the access hatch on Tak's and Zim hesitantly reached inside, plugging the cable in. In the blink of an eye, Zim yelled as the discharge of energy gave him a good shock and surged into Tak's PAK. "Aaaaaggggh!" The transfer completed and left Zim slumped over, smoking lightly. The female Irken did not stir, but her survival unit was powering up.

"_Her vitals are coming up slowly..."_ The computer droned on, yawning loudly.

Tak's eyes fluttered as she tried to open them, groaning softly. Her hands clawed at the table and Scorn reached out to help her sit up. She reached out and held on to his other hand, her head bobbing back and forth slightly.

"Where... am I?" she coughed, not having used her voice in quite some time. Zim had opened his mouth to speak but Scorn shot him a look, instantly silencing him.

"You're safe." he said quietly.

"How long have I been..." She blinked, her eyes having trouble focusing.

"Four years."

"Are you... my Tallest?" She squinted her eyes and looked up at the Irken hunter, her mouth dropping slightly as her vision began to clear up.

"No... take it easy. Your body needs to get used to being... right." Scorn narrowed his eyes, seeming irked that he couldn't think of a better adjective to use.

"I guess I owe you thanks..." Her violet eyes gazing up towards the ceiling. Zim could not stay silent any longer and before Scorn had a chance to keep him in check, he proclaimed loudly.

"Yes! The mighty Tak does owe me her thanks!" Offering a smug grin, he placed his hands on his hips. Tak instantly narrowed her eyes and searched frantically for the sound of that voice.

"No... it can't be... Zim!" He stepped out from behind Scorn and she jumped up, wobbling slightly as she fought to keep herself on her feet. "You! You're the reason I was out there in the first place! I'll tear out... your..." She fell silent, her antennae drooping and she gazed at Zim, who was now much taller than she remembered. He could tell exactly what was going through her mind and he couldn't resist the oppurtunity to rub it in.

"Yes... Zim has grown since last we encountered one another, Tak. Grown more mighty!" Scorn glared down at Zim, who's grin faultered slightly though did not vanish. He did however stop talking.

"Tallest, let me destroy him please!" Tak begged, turning on the taller Irken.

"I am not your Tallest, Tak. Zim rescued you because I need something. Tell me, where is your SIR unit?"

"MiMi?" Tak's harsh voice wavered slightly as she looked around frantically for her companion. "She should be in the pod." Scorn turned from the table where Tak had sat back down. He reached into the pod and collected the two largest pieces of MiMi, the head and torso.

"Current status: Non functioning. Zim, help Tak repair 'MiMi'. It's imperative I search her memory banks." He placed MiMi's head and body on the table beside Tak, who looked devastated at the state her companion was in.

"I already rescued Tak from that rock, why do I have to help her rebuild her wretched little minion?" Zim crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking rather agitated.

"You'd rather have a consolation prize, Zim?" Scorn looked at the former Invader over his shoulder, who narrowed his eyes further and sighed.

"Very well... I'll rebuild her stupid robot."

"No." Said Tak suddenly, standing up "I won't let -you- touch MiMi and I won't let -you- use her unless..." She pointed her finger at Zim, then Scorn. The bounty hunter's eye twitched again, much more obvious this time.

"What do you want?" Tak glowered around the room at Scorn, GIR, then Zim, the hatred in her eyes glowing as bright as the Irken sun.

"I won't remain like this, not if he hasn't. I need to be taller than Zim." She stated flatly. Scorn's eyebrows raised in surprise. Clearly he hadn't been expecting that as a request.

"Done." He said casually. "Repair the unit, and I'll make sure you grow." Turning once again, he strode to the lift and ascended up into the house area, leaving Zim hollering madly, Tak now sporting a smug grin of her own.

"You cannot be taller than Zim! Mighty Zim is superior!" He shouted, shaking a fist at Tak who stuck her tongue out at him.

"Say whatever you like, Zim. I have a feeling that whatever happened was just a fluke, like everything else that happens with you. If you can do it, then I can do it better!" Tak started to laugh maniacally, though winced, grabbing her side and sitting down.

_"Master, Agent Scorn wishes to see you on the main level."_

"Urrrrrgh! Very well. Tak! Don't touch anything or I'll melt your face off... or something." He glared at her before jumping into the elevator and rose up into the house. GIR had been standing there just watching the entire time. Tak's gaze fell on to him and she gave him an apprehensive look, raising an eyebrow at him. GIR smiled widely and waved.

"Woooooooo! Hi there!"

Upstairs Scorn was waiting for Zim by the front door, quickly buttoning his duster shut again. Zim stopped in front of him and began shouting.

"Hey! This is outrageous! You make me rescue me greatest enemy, you're giving her an advantage over me, and now I have to fix her stupid robot? Why should I keep helping you, it's not like you've really done anything for me yet!" Scorn tapped a long finger against his chin. Zim had a point. He hadn't really done anything for Zim yet. He was going to eliminate Dib, but Tak's SIR unit was more important to him than Zim's petty squabbles with a large domed Earthling.

"Zim... I... -need- your help." Scorn lowered himself to one knee so that he was face to face with Zim. "You may be the only one who can help me, and I cannot help you unless you help me." He placed his hand on Zim's shoulder. Zim wasn't sure what to make of this development. No one had ever told him that they needed him before, which gave him an uncomfortable feeling that again he couldn't identify.

"Very well... but know that Zim doesn't take kindly to lies. Betray me, and no power in the verse will stop me from exacting my revenge."

"I'd have it no other way..." Although he still couldn't see the lower half of Scorn's face, Zim had a feeling that he was smiling at him. Zim offered one in return and Scorn again patted Zim's shoulder. "I am required elsewhere at the moment. A colleague, Doctor Sluos Nimrod is on his way to identify the reason behind your growth and give the same treatment to Tak." Before Zim could say anything against it, Scorn shushed him. "You both made agreements with me and I always keep my word. Monitor Tak's recovery and begin repairs on MiMi. I'll return soon." Patting Zim on the shoulder in a reassuring manner, he stood up and left without further explanation. Zim sighed and turned towards the kitchen, moving to his refrigeration unit.

His computer administered a tranquilizer to put Tak out so that Zim could work in peace as he had begun to repair MiMi. It wasn't exactly difficult, it was just trying as he had to sift through all of her pieces and reconnect them in the right places. A few needed replacing altogether. Hours had passed and Zim had nearly fallen asleep when the computer alerted him to the doorbell. Donning his human disguise, he rushed to answer it, expecting Scorn to have returned. He swung the door open to see a very short Vortian standing on his front porch. His skin was a dark charcoal color with a pair of bone-white horns that curled up over his head. The Vortian's eyes were hidden behind a pair of putrid green goggles.

"Zim. Sluos Nimrod. Much work to do. Let us begin." The Vortian instantly pulled Zim back into the house and led him down into his labs as if he already knew where everything was. Dr. Nimrod set a metal case down bearing medical insignia of some sort and took a blood sample from Zim. The Vortian had the nerve to shoo Zim away, locking him out of his own laboratory so he spent the next hour in the observatory. Scorn returned as the sun had begun to shine it's rays just over the horizon and while Zim could still not see his face, the look in his eyes led him to believe that he was very tired.

_"Master. The Vortian and Tak are on their way up."_ The computer chimed in.

"Now we get to see what a waste of time this was." Zim snickered quietly, rubbing his hands together. The Vortian stepped out of the elevator and into the kitchen, a very proud look on his face.

"Operation complete success! Managed to isolate a very small fragment of time-dilated material from your blood, Zim." Doctor Nimrod began. "Can only speculate how it got there. Needless to say. Body adapted. Strong squeedlyspooch you have. Body grew more like those of this planet. Explains height and increased mass. Making you appear more human." He nodded sagely, fiddling with his goggles a moment. "Tak slightly trickier, being female. Same end result, however."

As if waiting for that specific line to cue her, Tak stepped out of the kitchen into Zim's living room. Her height and body mass had increased significantly. She, like Zim, was now tall, thin, and had a more 'human' figure. Her hips had widened, giving her a very curvy shape and her chest had expanded. Not a lot, but enough to notice, which Zim did. He caught himself staring in disbelief, one eye wide and the other squinting. Zim shook his head furiously, yet another feeling having formed in the pit of his squeedlyspooch that he hadn't felt before. Tak grinned wickedly and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"You can see, slightly different, being female. As tall as Zim. To go taller too risky."

"That's fine by me, I told you I can do anything you can better, Zim." Tak cackled several times. Scorn came over and reached down, shaking the Vortians hand.

"Thank you, Sluos. I may require your help again soon."

"Pleasure, as always. Will be here when you need me." Dr. Nimrod offered a curt smile and walked out of Zim's house. Zim peered out of the window in time to catch the sight of a bright light locking on to the Vortian before beaming him up to an unseen ship. Turning back to face Scorn, Zim seemed to be making an effort not to look at Tak.

"Your precious MiMi has been repaired, it only needs your authorization code to activate."

"Good...the tall one has given me what I want, so I'll give him what he wants. You better watch your back, Zim. This time, it's about revenge." Tak's voice had a sweet sting to it, the kind of scary happy that made one's skin crawl.

"In your wild dreams, Tak. Zim has become far more powerful since your last pitiful attempt-"

"Be quiet, both of you." Scorn interrupted, stepping inbetween them both. "Now then, I'm only going to say this once. How would you like to work for me?" Both Tak and Zim glanced and glared daggers at each other before turning back to the Irken bounty hunter with questions in their eyes.

End

* * *

Notes: This concludes Episode 1 - Nightmare. Think of it like a TV show, where some Episodes will have completely different plots, and others will have interlinking plots. Stay tuned for the next Episode! While I do have an overview for the main plot, I'm always willing to listen to ideas for side stories.

Sidenote: The name Sluos Nimrod is an anagram of Mordin Solus, a character in Mass Effect 2 which he's based off of.


	5. Episode 2: New Arrangements

**Episode Two**

**Part One:**

**New Arrangements**

Scorn stood on the observation deck on his ship, gazing out the window down at the blue world below with his hands behind his back. His eyes were locked on a cyclone slowly churning it's way just above the planet's equator. It's clockwise rotation kept him entranced and his mind reflected back on the last hour of events. One hand reached up for his hat, removing it and setting it on a nearby desk, eyes glazing over.

* * *

"How would you like to work for me?" The Irken said flatly, resting his hands on his hips. Both Zim and Tak gave surprised looks before glancing at each other with a glare and turned back to face him. He could see it in their eyes, the flurry of questions and suspicion that may deny him his potential new recruits. Scorn had expected them to both burst out loud talking at the same time, but to his surprise Zim and Tak both waited for him to explain further.

"Like your computer said, I'm a bounty hunter. Like your 'Almighty' Tallest said, this part of space isn't on the Empire's radar. You'd be surprised how many creatures are hiding out on the fringes of the galaxy, even in this sector." He lifted his hat up and ran his long fingers against the top of his scalp, scratching briefly at the base of his prosthetic antennae before quickly replacing it as he felt their eyes staring up at it. Scorn didn't like anyone looking at his antennae. Shaking his head lightly, he looked them both in the eyes from under the brim of his hat and placed one hand on his hip. Tak was the first one to speak up.

"What do you want help for? You don't exactly strike me as the type who takes help, or plays well with others."

"That's funny, coming from from you, Tak." Zim smirked at her and crossed his arms. "The Tak-beast does have a point-"

"What did you call me you, you little-" She glared at him with fire in her violet eyes, clenching her fists. Zim's grin widened and he stuck his tongue out at her.

"Zim is hardly 'little' anymore, Tak. If it wasn't for the vortian you'd be the little one here."

"I swear i'll feed your squeedilyspooch to MiMi once I get her fixed!" Tak threatened, instantly stepping behind Zim and before he could do anything she had him in a headlock. Her now longer arms had no trouble wrapping around his neck and she squeezed tightly, clearly trying to suffocate him. Zim choked and clawed at her arms, struggling and squirming, trying to break her grasp.

"Gaah... aaaack! Un-hand me... filthy... Tak-beast!" Zim choked, getting his hands around her arms and pulled. Slowly but surely he managed to pry Tak off of him and gave her a backwards headbutt. She stumbled back and he leapt forward, turning on her. "No one lays their filthy claws on ZIM and gets away with it!" He balled his hands into fists, pointing one finger accusingly at Tak who was rubbing her chin. Scorn watched as they began to grapple each other, each trying to put the other into submission and tried to remain calm. His patience was wearing thin however when Tak threw Zim to the ground, smashing a chair, and he reached into his pocket. Scorn cleared his throat but Zim and Tak continued their brawl. Finally he slammed one fist against the wall and shouted loud enough to be heard over the racket and a held up a rather large blaster pistol.

"Knock it off!" Zim had Tak pinned against the ground with one of his robotic legs however she had a grip on his right antenna and they both stopped and looked up at him. "Am I going to have to shoot you both?" Scorn narrowed his eyes and waved the weapon in their direction, causing both of them to get up and back off from each other. "Good." His brow twitched and he rolled his head from shoulder to shoulder, his neck giving a loud series of cracking sounds.

"No, I don't play well with others. No, I don't usually take help. However I need a contact on this planet. My options are limited, as Zim is the only resident Invader." The blaster lowered and he tapped the barrel against his leg. Zim said nothing, but Tak interjected.

"Zim's a hopeless screw up, his mission here is a complete lie. You'd be better off taking help from the human, Dib!" She glanced at Zim, who's eyes fell slightly at once again being reminded that the Tallest sent him on a snipe hunt. Tak's eyes raised slightly, clearly not having expected that to bother him. She didn't let up though. "You asked us 'both' to help you, what makes you think I want to stay on this rock?" Scorn's eyes moved from Zim to Tak and he continued tapping the blaster against his leg.

"Have a way back to Irk, do you? From what I understand your ship and your giant weenie stand are both gone." Tak frowned and a smirk flickered across Zim's face.

"I... well... you could give me a lift then, couldn't you?"

"I could. I see no compelling evidence that suggests I should." Scorn approached, yet again imposing his height over the pair of them. Tak did not cower, but was certainly intimidated by the motion as if the Almighty Tallest themselves were standing in front of her. "I had the playing field leveled between you and Zim, and you've yet to pay me for that. Besides, your PAK still has you registered as Janitorial Detail. If you go back empty handed, you'll be sent right back to the trash heap. Think you'll manage to scrounge a way off again?" She let out a sigh of frustration as she opened her mouth to argue, though he'd made a valid point. Zim finally cut in.

"Yes, it's all very amusing to hear that Tak's destined to be an outcast, but you still have a deal with me buddy. You're supposed to help me prove I'm not defec-" The Irken stopped short, suddenly realizing he was giving Tak ammunition against him and turned to look at her now grinning snidely at him.

"So is that why you're still here, Zim? The Tallest finally call you out?"

"It's no concern of yours what the Tallest have or haven't said to Zim, cleaning drone." Zim turned from her and folded his arms, raising his head indignantly. She rolled her eyes, still smirking and snickering. Scorn cleared his throat again.

"Someone may be coming here to hide on Earth, but I cannot wait around for him. Since you both will be here indefinitely, you'll keep an eye out and contact me if you see or hear anything. This is part of the deal, Zim. Catching this person will go a long way to helping your cause." Zim frowned slightly, but nodded his head. Scorn turned to face Tak who stood with her hands on her hips, giving him the same loathing look that she'd given Zim. "As for you, as soon as I search your SIR unit's memory our business is concluded. However you are more than welcome to aid Zim in this assignment and in return, should you still wish to leave I'll give you passage to anywhere you want to go. On top, both of you will get fifteen percent of the reward." Tak looked skeptical.

"Who exactly are you looking for?"

"No more until you accept or decline."

Both Zim and Tak looked at the Irken bounty hunter, then looked at each other. Scorn saw a flurry of thoughts crossing their minds as he peered into their eyes while they looked at each other and he frowned under the collar of his coat. The pair of Irkens continued staring daggers at each other, though finally seemed to come to a silent agreement as they both nodded and turned to face Scorn.

"Zim will of course do what is necessary." Zim held his hand out and Scorn reached out, shaking it firmly. Tak rolled her eyes again.

"Tsh, whatever. If I have to stay here I might as well get paid for it." She stuck her hand out and Scorn shook it.

"Good. I'll give your computer all the information on my mark before I leave. First things first though..." As if knowing what Scorn was going to ask, Zim led all of them into the now extremely cramped elevator back down to the lab. GIR sat next to MiMi, looking very down as he nudged her and sniffled quietly when she didn't move. The sour look on Tak's face disappeared completely as she spied her companion and ran over to it. GIR stood up and backed out of the way.

"MiMi..." Tak said softly, her voice barely audible. Zim glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.

_"Repairs were completed successfully. Combat functions are...errr..still not...functional..."_ The computer slowed, sounding as though it didn't know how to describe the problem.

"Will she turn on?" Zim inquired, looking up at the screen as it displayed MiMi's layout.

_"Uhhhh... maybe? We'll find out..."_Zim rolled his eyes at the computer and tapped a button, initiating a power transfer sequence. MiMi's arms shook as power surged into her chassis

"MiMi, activate... command code 'Zim will pay.'" Zim looked as though he wanted to protest but was kept from doing so by the bounty hunter. With the code, MiMi's brain began to reboot and after a few moments her eyes lit up cyan. They flickered as if she had blinked and turned to face Tak. The two stared at each other for a few seconds before MiMi held her arms out and walked over, giving Tak a hug. "MiMi..." Tak said quietly, a wave of relief washing over her. GIR wiped his eyes and gave an excited shout, waving his arms enthusiastically.

"Yaaaay! MiMi's okay!" The little robot shuffled over to Tak and MiMi. MiMi rounded on GIR, breaking from her mistress and held her claw out in a defensive manner, her eyes flashing red. GIR held something out for her. Scorn had been setting up the computer to search MiMi's memory banks and turned to spy that GIR was holding out the same Lollipop that he gave to the SIR and was offering it to her. Scorn raised an eyebrow as he watched MiMi circle GIR slowly, her eyes darting up and down from GIR to the lollipop. Her eyes flickered again before she reached out slowly and took the candy, instantly backing up to her mistress. It suddenly dawned on the hunter that GIR's eccentric and spontaneous mannerisms had more behind them than a malfunctioning brain. Scorn shook his head suddenly and went back to prepping the search program.

"That's right, you owe the mighty ZIM your thanks for rebuilding your precious MiMi!" Zim held his hands up and cackled . "Now thank like you've never thanked! ...before!" Tak snorted in disgust, looking over at Zim with contempt.

"I could have repaired her in my sleep." Without looking back at them, Scorn interjected a question.

"Speaking of which, where exactly do you plan on sleeping?"

"I-" Tak started, raising a finger to her chin. She didn't have an answer. "I don't know." she finished through gritted teeth.

"Zim, it's your duty to offer your fellow Invader lodgings." Scorn said quietly, looking over at Tak who sent MiMi over to him.

"What? You want me to harbor my greatest enemy right inside my own fort-" Zim was cut off as he looked into Scorn's eyes. The dark blue orbs told him to shut. Immediately. Or else. The ex Invader furrowed his brow and muttered through gritted teeth. "Finefine, shecanstay..."

"Believe me Zim, this is the last place I want to be." Tak spat, folding her arms in front of her chest.

After spending hours probing GIR's memory, Scorn had defined the process and wrote a search command that would scan MiMi's memory for any sort of out of place information, thus negating having to waste hours again. He'd struck gold after only several minutes of scanning, he found a string that made no sense and the hunter copied the information. The last thing he'd said to Tak and Zim before leaving was to remind them to contact him if they caught wind of his bounty, and that he expected them to work together. If they continued to attempt to kill one another, he would do unspeakably horrible things when he returned.

* * *

Scorn blinked suddenly, coming back into focus as he looked out over the stars behind Earth. He glanced back briefly at the cyclone. The storm had spun it's way through the middle of the Caribbean and had now completely covered the island of Cuba. _This will either be the easiest mark i've collected, or easily be a total disaster..._He thought to himself. His antennae perked up as a chime came over a terminal on the nearby desk. The Vortian, Dr. Sluos Nimrod, appeared on the screen.

_"Agent Scorn. A moment please?" _Dr. Nimrod's voice came out, sounding slightly distorted by the speaker. Scorn kept his back to the terminal.

"What is it?"

_"Finished analyzing genetic samples. One set, 96% match to your own. Thought you might want to know."_ Scorn tapped his chin, his dark blue eyes narrowing as he looked back at the window.

"Thank you doctor." The Vortian scientist nodded, the picture on the screen flickered and died. The Irken ran a hand over his scalp again turned his gaze back to the storm that raged along the surface below. Grabbing his hat and placing it over his head, he turned and strolled from the Observation Deck towards the bridge. Pulling the memory chip from his pocket and plugging it into the main console, the data began to copy over. His long fingers strummed across the keys quickly and the ship broke orbit over Earth. His own computer sounded completely monotonous with no hint of disobedience or personality as it called out to him.

_"Warp field stabilized. Destination?"_

"Set course for Irk."

* * *

Notes: Due to the reviews left for me regarding a Zim/Tak romance, the answer to that mystery is a resounding... 'maybe'? Stay tuned for Episode 2 Part 2 - New Allies. Also, should I make time for it I may attempt to sketch a sort of promo poster of the main cast.


	6. Episode 2: New Allies

****

Episode Two

**Part Two:**

**New Allies**

Zim and Tak continued glaring at one another for what seemed like ages and it wasn't until the computer finally reminded them that Scorn had left did they both look away. Tak resumed checking MiMi's brain, making sure she was functioning properly. The SIR unit still clutched the lollipop in her claw that GIR had given her. Zim peered at it. He noticed that when GIR was standing still, his eyes were usually locked on his fellow her. _Interesting behavior... perhaps side effects when GIR linked to her and caused Tak to crash? This may warrant further study..._He thought to himself, tapping a finger against his chin. Zim stuck out his tongue as he watched Tak hug MiMi again and rolled his eyes, turning to face the computer again.

_"Perhaps you should rest, master? The educational data assimilation center opens in a few hours."_The computer chimed. Zim shuddered and growled through gritted teeth.

"Ugh... I forgot about that, what with everything we've been doing..." Tak looked over at him with a surprised, mocking expression.

"You're still going to their Skool, Zim? That's just said. The humans still haven't seen through your lame disguise, then?" Zim snorted and faced her, placing his hands on his hips.

"Just like you said, Tak. Most of them don't notice." The Irken invader shook his head slowly. "I bet I know more about human culture than you do. But as much as i'd love to prove how stupid you are, Zim requires sleep." Zim nodded matter of factly and raised a hand, yawning quietly as he approached the lift. Tak jumped to her feet and rushed over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder and turned him to face her.

"Hey wait a minute! Where am -I- supposed to sleep?" Zim glanced down at her hand and raised an eyebrow, brushing it off of his shoulder like it was something revolting.

"That isn't my problem, is it? You can fight GIR for his room." Zim had expected to hear something from his robot minion, whether it be a 'Yay!' or an 'Aw!'. He heard nothing. He looked around suddenly for GIR who was no where to be seen. "GIR!" Zim called out. No response. He smirked at Tak and cackled quietly. "Good luck, Tak. He may be stupid but he won't give up his quarters so easily. There's always the couch."

_"Master, we can have a new room added to the complex if you like-"_

"SILENCE!" Zim shouted at the computer, pointing a finger threatingly as the main screen as if it was the computer's face. "Just who's side are you on, anyway?"

"Come on, Zim... you have to give me my own quarters!" Tak tapped her foot, sounding more impatient than before. Zim looked extremely displeased at the development and seemed to be considering all of his options.

_I can just kick her out... I don't -have- to let her stay. Taller Scorn is already gone... but on the other hand, he might get uppity if she tattles to him when he returns... If I... grrrr... compromise, he may be more forthcoming with information... but that would mean doing... ugh... filthy TAK a favor!_ Zim continued to ponder, obviously looking lost in thought until Tak cleared her throat, raising her eyebrows at him.

"Well?"

"Computer, store all of the data on Taller Scorn's fugitive in a secure file. We'll go over the information after I return from Skool." He glanced at Tak and instead glaring at her, he offered a very forced, polite smile. "How long will it take to fashion a new living unit?"

_"Approximately thirteen hours, nineteen minutes, and forty two seconds. Construction should be complete by the time you return from the education center."_

"Very well Computer. Begin fabrication of... bleh... 'Guest Quarters'... and allow Tak entry once it's complete." He shuddered again and used the finger quotations around "guest quarters". Tak narrowed her eyes slightly, placing her hands on her hips.

"Where am I supposed to sleep until then, dung-brain?"

"Zim was going to offer Tak the privacy of his own quarters, but if Tak prefers to continue throwing insults..." He closed his eyes, turning his back to her and smiled widely. Tak's eyes went wide at the proposition, her mind clearly conflicted between having privacy and sleeping in Zim's room.

"I-" She began, looking rather put out as she found herself in the awkward position of either saying please, apologizing, or saying both, and Zim relished every last drop of her insecurity. "Sorry..." she grumbled quietly, averting her gaze. Zim's smile turned into a maniacal grin and he thought it better not to press his luck by agitating her further.

"Computer, she is not to be allowed into any part of the base except for the house level and her own quarters once they are completed."

_"Confirmed. I'll just keep her locked in your room then, shall I?" _Zim gritted his teeth, the sound of her being alone amongst his possessions suddenly sounding like the most terrible of tortures. Zim did not answer as he climbed into the lift and ascended up into the house, leaving Tak alone to collect herself. He clutched a small monitor in one hand and tapped into the lab's surveillance, zooming in on Tak's face. She looked relieved that he was no longer there.

"What's his angle... What reason has he got to be... nice?" She frowned deeply and wrapped her arms around herself in a manner Zim hadn't ever seen before. Like, she was trying to comfort herself. He narrowed his eyes, staring at her through the monitoring device and watched as she called out for her SIR unit. "MiMi... come on." Interestingly enough, MiMi was also no where to be found. Tak looked around slowly though shrugged and drug herself towards the lift.

"Computer, should the MiMi unit make any attempt to disrupt so much as one circuit or screw, have the gnomes eliminate it." The doors slid open and Tak stood there, eyebrows raised at Zim who had apparently forgotten press the button to the main floor. He looked over and forced a smile, very sneakily hiding the tiny vid-screen in his pocket as he stood to the side to let Tak on. "My quarters, computer." With that the lift lurched into a motion, descending further into the depth's of his lair. It was a very awkward elevator ride and it wasn't until the doors swung open, showing the hatch to his living space when Tak finally spoke.

"Thanks..." She sounded as though this was incredibly hard for her to say. Almost painful. "Thanks for fixing MiMi... and for giving up your room... and for..." Tak gritted her teeth, narrowing her eyes, positively fuming over the last part. "...rescuing me... even if it was your fault I got stuck there." Was she trying to trick him? Zim had half a mind to throw it back in her face but before his brain could calculate a proper retort, he merely waved his hand in a dismissive fashion.

"Don't mention it. Ever." With the push of a button the doors slid shut and the lift began it's ascent back up to the house. Zim gripped his gut and glared down at it, yet another feeling swimming inside that he didn't know how to comprehend. What -was- it? Did he feel sorry for Tak? Of course not. How could ever feel sympathy with his bitter rival, his enemy? A thought then crossed the back of his mind. _I'm not an Invader anymore... I'm working with Scorn, and so is Tak. That makes us...allies this time, right? _He forced the thought back into the depths of his brain as the lift doors opened. Zim crossed the kitchen and stared at the couch, shaking his head with a sigh before climbing up onto it. He felt like he might lay awake until the sun rose, pondering, plotting, planning, and scheming about everything that'd happened, however the moment his head lay against the pillow his eyelids grew heavy and he fell fast asleep.

-Meanwhile, over Planet Irk-

Scorn's ship dropped out of warp over Planet Irk and flew silently towards the massive world. The Irken Invasion Armada was currently in orbit over the homeworld, taking a pit-stop from their universal conquest. Hundreds of ships were docked with a long ring that went all the way around the planet's surface except for the Massive, the armada flagship. When Scorn caught sight of it, it made him think 'bigger is better', which in turn caused him to snort and roll his eyes. The 'Void-Runner' was a relatively light attack frigate, with room for no more than a maximum crew of twelve, compared to the Irken battlecruisers that took at least a hundred Irken soldiers to man well enough to fight. All of the Irken Armada's ships were easily spotted, their hulls being a lightish red color. The Void-Runner was pitch black and had a custom plating that interfered with sensors. The only sure way to see the ship was a direct visual, and even then you had to know what you were looking for. When running silent, all you'd see is a ripple of black gliding against the stars.

This caused the Irken bounty hunter to grin wickedly behind the collar of his duster as the Massive gave no sign that it was alerted to his presence. Not that it would matter, but it did rather amuse him to surprise his intended hosts with his presence. One moment there was nothing, the next there was a ship hailing them. The Irken pilot blinked in surprise as a communication request flashed across his screen.

"My Tallest... we have an incoming transmission." The Almighty Tallest, Red and Purple, looked at each other. Purple shrugged and held up a box of juice, sipping on it. Red Craned his neck to look over the pilot's shoulder at the screen.

"Who is it?"

"I'm... not sure sirs. It's an older signal code, but it definately seems Irken." The pilot looked up at Red who sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Alright... put it on the main viewer..." The pilot nodded and touched a few keys before the main screen flickered with static. It lasted for a moment before Scorn appeared, arms behind his back. His hat covered the top of his head and the duster's collar covered the lower half, leaving his face completely veiled. Red and Purple both gasped loudly, the latter dropping his juice box to the ground. Neither of them seemed to want to initiate a verbal communication, though Purple finally came to realize he'd dropped something and spoke loudly.

"Hey! You owe me a new box of juice!" Red instantly shoved Purple aside, accidentally hitting his head on seperate low hanging screen. Red smiled, though it looked far from sincere.

"A-Agent Scorn... I didn't know you were in this part of the galaxy... How's the whole bounty hunter thing going?"

"Same slime, different day." Scorn flicked the brim of his hat, pushing it up far enough to allow Red to look him in the eyes. "I calling in a favor."

"Crap..." Red muttered under his breath, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "S-sure thing! What can the Irken Empire do for you?" Purple rubbed the side of his head where he'd hit the other screen, stumbling back into view beside Red.

"I need a recruit." Scorn stated evenly.

"What do you need an Irken for? Can't you find hired goons anywhere in the universe?" Purple blurted out, resting his hands on his hips. Red instantly elbowed him aside again, shushing his counterpart.

"I'm sure we can arrange something... have anyone in mind?" Scorn pressed a button and a full dossier displayed on the Massive's screen.

"What? Tenn! You can't have Tenn! She's one of our best Invaders!"

"She's been on your ship since my intervention. You don't think I agreed to remedy that little problem on Meekrob out of the kindness of my heart, do you?"

"If you even have one..." Purple muttered. Scorn narrowed his eyes, giving them an icy stare that sent shivers up their segmented spines.

"You want the traitor?"

"You've... found him then, have you?" Red and Purple both looked at him, their eyes widening.

"You won't get him until you give me a soldier."

"Alright... alright, dock with us and i'll send her over." Red rest his hand on his forehead, frowning. "So tell me, where have you tracked him to?"

"Seems he's headed for a planet called 'Earth'. Know it?" Red tapped the top of his head and glanced at Purple who shrugged, looking oblivious. "What about Zim. That name ring any bells?" Both of them stopped, very slowly turning to look at the screen.

"Zim..." They muttered together, narrowing their eyes. "...you think that traitor has something to do with the defective?"

"No. Invader Zim has already offered me assistance in the apprehension of the target." Red and Purple looked like they were going to split at the seams trying to keep from laughing. Scorn appeared very much unamused.

"Well... if you're going to Earth and take 'help' from Zim, then you might need more backup then Tenn..." A lightbulb went off in Red's noggin and he grinned widely. "Why not take Invader Skoodge with you as well? He was after all, the first one to conquer a planet in Operation Impending Doom II." Purple raised a hand to his mouth, covering it to keep from giggling. "He's a fine soldier." Scorn rubbed at where his chin might have been and considered.

"Fine. Docking is underway, have Tenn and Skoodge report to hangar nine immediately." The screen flickered and died, leaving the Tallest standing there looking at each other.

"Did you hear him just now, Red?" Purple complained, sounding truly outraged. "Did you hear him order us around like... like he's taller than we are? We're the Almighty Tallest!" Red gave him a quick backhand to silence him.

"Don't mess with this guy, Purp."

Scorn stood at the Void-Runner's hatch with his arms crossed in front of his chest, the lengths of his black duster draped all the way to the deck. A pair of fully armed Irken soldiers escorted a very confused looking Invader Tenn and a rather frightened looking Invader Skoodge into the hangar, followed by the Tallest, and six more soldiers. All of them were at a loss for words when they saw Scorn. He stepped away from the hatch and approached Red and Purple, standing in front of them. They may have been the same height, but the top of Scorn's hat seemed to squeeze an inch or two in.

"You have my recruits, good." He reached a gloved hand out to both Skoodge and Tenn, who reached up hesitantly and shook them. "Fall in." They moved slowly, still seeming awestruck that some lowlife spacer could be as tall as their Almighty Tallest. Red and Purple both gulped as Scorn turned back to look them each in the eye. "You'll have your traitor soon, gentlemen..." The hunter gave a brief tug of his hat, saying 'good day' and turned to escort Skoodge and Tenn onto the Void-Runner. It wasn't until the ship took off and was already back out into space that Purple shuddered and looked over at Red.

"Ohhhh mama... that guy give you the creeps too?" Red nodded solemnly.

* * *

Notes: (Forgot to add them when I uploaded the chapter, d'oh!) Stay Tuned for Episode Two Part Three: New Enemies


	7. Episode 2: New Enemies

**Episode 2**

**Part 3:**

**New Enemies**

Red paced back and forth on the bridge of the Massive, hands held behind his back while Purple sat on a chair with his face stuffed full of Irken burrito. The former looked worried as he stared up at the monitor, files of Tenn, Skoodge, and Zim open and displayed side by side and various bits of information were highlighted that might give them any connection. A very small file sat at the top of the screen containing almost nothing about the Irken bounty hunter. Red rubbed his face and let out an exasperated sigh as he read through each file again and again.

"What in the heck is this all about, huh? I mean... look, there's nothing in this guy. The file is friggin' empty. All it's got is his height, weight, the color of his eyes, even his name is just an alias. The rest is just a list of bounties as long as we are tall... That Plurtobian warlord that claimed Plurtos off limits to Irk? Made it impossible for the Armada to get any Invaders down there?" Purple scratched his head before nodding. "This guy took that joker out. And that Vortian mad scientist who was running all these illicit experiments on, well, everyone?" Purple scratched his head and nodded again. "This guy. What does a guy like this want with our Invaders?" Purple took another bite from his burrito before speaking, spewing bits out.

"Why bother looking into it, huh? We don't even like Skoodge and Tenn hasn't been doing anything since Meekrob. Speaking of Meekrob, how come you didn't tell me you hired him help get fix that problem, huh? Huh? Huh?" Purple pointed the burrito at Red and continued saying 'Huh' until Red shoved his hand away.

"Well we didn't exactly hire him... We got a transmission from him about a week after Invader Tenn's last report, y'know the one that cut out with her screaming?" Purple nodded slowly but didn't seem to remember. "Remember? It was cake night?"

"Oh yeah..." Purple said slowly in dawning comprehension.

"Right. He didn't give much indication, only that he had Invader Tenn and he was bringing her back to the fleet." Red looked back up at the only picture of 'Agent Scorn' on file which was the one their pilot managed to save from their last transmission from him. All that could be seen from under the brim of his hat and over the collar of his coat were his dark blue eyes. "Tenn gave us a report of everything she remembered. Apparently those malfunct SIR units chased her all over the planet. Last thing she remembers before blacking out was seeing all of them in pieces and that Scorn guy standing over her."

"So... he really -did- just save her out of the kindness of his heart, yeah?"

"No, idiot!" Red slapped Purple again. "He wanted a favor in return, and him taking Tenn and Skoodge was that favor. It's been a long time, I didn't think he was ever going to cash in." He looked back at the screen and read through all of the files yet again. "I can see why he might want Invader Tenn... she's remarkably good with communications and electronics, but what in the world do you think he could have seen in Skoodge? He's so... short..."

"And ugly, am I right?" Purple added, snickering.

"That too..." Red tapped one long finger against his chin and mumbled to himself. "And what in the world is he doing with Zim... Never expected to hear -his- name again."

"I know, right Red? Did you remember the look on his face when we told him how stupid he was? Looked like he was trying hard not to cry." Purple guffawed, holding his forehead in one hand and his gut in the other. Red however did not think it was funny.

"C'mon Purp, you don't think we were a little hard on him?"

"Maybe a little yeah, but don't -you- think it was still funny?" Purple replied, raising his eyebrows speculatively at his counterpart.

"Well... yeah, least we haven't had to heard from him all this time. I'm surprised he's still alive, being stuck on that dumb planet." Red cracked a small smile and rolled his eyes, snickering quietly. "Remember that time he called us completely covered in meat?"

"Hahahaha, yeah that was hilarious... Oh, oh! Or what about the time he called us covered in burn marks, thinking this human kid was in love with him?"

"That was Tak, remember?"

"Oh yeah... She was supposed to fill the Earth with snacks! How come she didn't fill the Earth with snacks, huh?" Purple demanded, placing his hands on his hips and pouting.

"She was foiled you idiot! By Zim of all people..." Red sighed again, placing his face in his palm and shook his head. Before either of them could bring up another incident with ZIm, one of the Irken pilots lifted his head up from his station, waving to get their attention.

"My Tallest? There's an encrypted transmission incoming from-"

"Let me guess... It's Agent Scorn again and he wants an Irken battlecruiser filled with tanks?" Purple threw the half eaten burrito at their pilot who promptly ducked, letting it hit his console.

"N-No my Tallest... It's the M-Master Control Brain on Irk. It wants a private audience with you." Red slapped his forehead and groaned irritably, looking up at the ceiling of the bridge.

"Great... what's Brain want this time?" He nudged Purple and waved for him to follow.

"You... you don't think it's picking new Tallest, do you?" He said as they walked into their office, eyes open wide. "But we're still tall! And alive!

"Of course not, there isn't anyone taller than we are." Red looked at Purple like he was crazy.

"But what about that Scorn guy? H-he might be taller! Did you see the guy?" Red was about to slap Purple again before the screen lit up with a large pink orb with many eyes that hung suspended by several thick cables, all of which led to different places. A strong, mechanized voice nearly blew out the speakers, causing them both to clutch their heads, eyes wide in alarm.

_**STATEMENT: DISTURBING NEWS HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO ATTENTION, TALLEST. SUBJECT USING THE ALIAS **__SCORN __**HAS CONTACTED YOU. **_

_**QUERY: WHY HAVE YOU NOT APPREHENDED THE SUBJECT?**_

"M-Master Control-" Red started, wringing his hands together. "Y-you see, the thing is... he's been taking care of some the Armada's dirty work. We figured that... it was better just to leave him alone."

_**STATEMENT: UNACCEPTABLE. SUBJECT IS IRKEN. ALL IRKENS MUST SERVE THE EMPIRE OR BE BROUGHT BACK TO IRK TO BE EVALUATED AND REPROCESSED. SUBJECT SCORN IS CLEARLY OPERATING OUTSIDE THE BOUNDARIES OF THE EMPIRE. UNACCEPTABLE. SUBJECT HAS ALREADY FAILED RE-EVALUATION AND MUST BE APPREHENDED AND RETURNED TO IRK FOR REPROCESSING.**_

Red and Purple looked at each other, both shrugging before turning back to the screen.

"Master Control, while Agent Scorn isn't exactly taking marching orders, the fact is he's already done more than a few things for the Armada... Here, have a look." Red tapped a button on his nearby terminal, transmitting all of the data they had on Scorn over to the Master Control Brain, including their list of known bounties. A fair few of them were ordered by various Irkens from across the Empire.

_**STATEMENT: INSUFFICIENT DATA. CONTINUE OPERATION IMPENDING DOOM II. NEW PARAMETERS INCLUDE GATHERING DATA ON SUBJECT SCORN. REPORT IN TWO WEEKS. FAILURE WILL RESULT IN REPLACEMENT OF TALLEST. **_

_**END OF LINE.**_

The screen went black and left Red and Purple standing there staring at nothing. They slowly turned to look at each other and for once, Purple had something intelligent to say.

"I think we better tell Tenn and Skoodge to keep their eyes open." Red nodded in agreement. "Do you think we should order Zim to report back to us? Tell him he can come back or something?"

"No, we can't afford to let Zim know about this. He'll find some way to screw us over and then bam, pow. We're not Tallest anymore." The Almighty Tallest left their office and returned to the bridge looking very serious. The Massive pilots all gave each other concerned looks as Red and Purple stood at the front of the command deck. "Comm officer, open a channel to the fleet. All ships resume formation and set course for planet Narglatch." The Irken pilot tapped a few keys, allowing Red's words to spread across the invasion armada. "Also, have a message encrypted and sent out to Invaders Tenn and Skoodge..."

END

* * *

Notes: There ya go, Episode Two complete. Your reviews are like mana from heaven! Stay tuned for Episode Three Part One: Swollen Eyeball Network


	8. Episode 3: Swollen Eyeball Network

**Episode 3**

**Part One:**

**Swollen Eyeball Network**

As soon as Zim and Scorn had left the Membrane residence, Dib had begun frantically trying to override the command that the taller Irken had input, now making the Spittle Runner inoperable. With his laptop hooked up to a specially designed interface that he'd made, he tried code after code to no avail. Typing furiously, he resolved to at least get the ships computer to come out of standby mode though after an hour with no progress, Dib finally threw down his laptop and slammed a fist against the side of the Spittle Runner, resulting in a very sore hand.

"Arrgh! Stupid aliens! I'll get Zim for this one, even if it takes me... takes me... a long... time!" Dib threatened as he walked back into the house and cradled his throbbing hand. Gaz was again sitting on the couch playing her GS3, sounds of magic, swordplay, and undead pig squealing emitting from it. She glanced up at him and shook her head slowly.

"What are bellyaching about Zim for? The taller one was the one to outsmart you." She snorted, turning back to her game.

"You saw them Gaz. He's working with Zim." Dib opened the fridge and took out a soda before slamming the door. "I'll find out what they're up to, just you wait..."

"Keep it down, i'm trying to concentrate..."

Gaz glared at him briefly, gripping the handheld gaming console tightly. Rolling his eyes, Dib sat on the opposite end of the couch and turned on the tube just in time to catch the opening credits of _Mysterious Mysteries_. It was a bit surprising that the show was still going on after all this time, especially since half of their episodes were full of garbage. Dib was still sore over that lame 'Chickenfoot' nonsense. The show started on about some skool might be haunted by the ghost of a janitor that used to work there. Just more nonsense. Dib stared blankly at the screen and allowed his mind to run rampant with theories regarding Zim and his new muscle.

_What in the world would have made Zim call in someone like that? Gaz is right... that arrogant jerk is the last person I'd expect to take help from anyone... and why would a guy clearly as dangerous as him be helping -Zim- out? Surely there's a more strategic planet for that guy to be conquering._ Gaz answered his question, causing him to blink in surprise and snap back to reality.

"I seriously doubt he's here to conquer the world, Dib."

"Gaz! How'd you know what I was thinking?" Dib looked at her in incredulously and scratched the top of his head.

"Because you were thinking out loud, idiot..." Gaz replied with a snort. Dib furrowed his brow and frowned grumpily. He hated when he talked out loud to himself and tried desperately to break the habit. Obviously he wasn't doing a very good job.

"C'mon Gaz, why else would he be here?"

"For a guy obsessed with aliens, you really do have a narrowed perspective. Think about it lamewad." Gaz finally shut her GS3 for good and slipped it into her pocket, crossing her arms and looked up at Dib. He scratched his head again and shrugged. She gritted her teeth and shook her head again, standing up and left with an exasperated sigh. Dib just waved his hand dismissively and went back to watching Mysterious Mysteries. After another twenty minutes of mops, brooms, plungers, and garbage cans being possessed and thrown around old classrooms, Dib finally shut the television off and stretched his arms high into the air.

"Guess it's time to hit the sack... I'll just have to blackmail Zim with the images I got with him and that tall alien at his base. They'll have to unlock the ship for me. Better check in on the Network first though, make sure I haven't missed anything new." He grinned slyly as he touched the frames of his round glasses, his finger brushing against an inconspicuous button. Gaz's voice rang from upstairs.

"You're doing it again!" Dib waved his fists irritably and stomped a foot at having been called out. Taking care to not speak aloud, he climbed the stairs to his room. After shutting the door quietly, he kicked off his boots and hung his coat up before sitting at his desk and bringing his computer to life. The screen flickered and displayed the insignia of the Swollen Eyeball Network lit up his dark room. It waited until he poked the pupil. It flashed the words _'MY EYES ARE SWOLLEN' _before bringing up a login launcher.

USERNAME: MOTHMAN  
PASSWORD: ********

...ACCEPTED...

WELCOME BACK AGENT MOTHMAN

Kicking back and propping his feet up onto his desk, Dib began to scan the Swollen Eyeball Network's servers for any new material on extra-terrestrial activity. After all, he wasn't the -only- one looking for aliens. It also turned out that he wasn't the only one that had any information since after a few minutes he came up with a hit on his search. There had been a sighting of a suspicious looking tall man laden in a black coat and a wite hat nearby the city lab. Both of his eyebrows shot up in surprise as a security camera in the parking garage took footage of a police cruiser come to a halt and out stepped the figure. He strolled up to the entrance casually before pausing at the door, turned, and looked straight at the camera. One hand tapped something at his wrist, causing him to vanish from the picture. Dib caught the briefest look at a pair of dark blue irken eyes.

"Him!" He said in shock, leaning forward onto the end of his desk. "What's that jerk doing at dad's lab?" Dib stroked the keys of his laptop gracefully and hacked into the lab's surveillance system. No other camers took any imaging of the intruder. Clicking the link for the video clip, he raised an eyebrow at the name of the Eyeball user that posted it. "Agent... Ghost Kitten?" He scratched the top of his head and clicked on the username. "Perfect! He's online." With a few more keystrokes, a video chat window popped up and he waited for 'Ghost Kitten' to appear. After about ten minuets, the silhouette of a girl appeared, features askew, the eyes lit up in a single shade of red.

"Agent Ghost Kitten?"

"That's me, who am I talking to?" Her voice replied calmly, a black hand reaching up to run her fingers through long hair. Dib scratched the top of his head, a bit taken aback. She didn't sound any older than he was. "...hello? I haven't got all night."

"Sorry... I'm Agent Mothman. Lead extra-terrestrial investigator."

"Oh right, right, I've heard about you. Some of the other Eyeballs think you're crazy, maybe a bit wild." Dib was glad that the video feed blacked out his features, since he rolled his eyes.

"That's not important... I've never seen your handle before, how long have you been with the Eyeballs?" He propped his elbows on the end of his desk, resting his chin on the back of his hands.

"About six months. I'm more into earthly paranormal stuff. Didn't really think about aliens until tonight." Ghost Kitten tossed her hair again.

"What's that video you posted on the server?"

"Some creep broke into the research lab where I live. Caught a quick look at him before something happened to the cameras."

"The same guy tried to kill me at my house earlier tonight! He took something from this alien ship I've been repairing before he disabled it-" Dib was cut off by Ghost Kitten.

"Wait... the same ship you said you've been repairing for the past few years?"

"Yea... you know about that?" Dib replied nervously.

"Whoah! I just thought it was all garbage when Darkbooty mentioned it... I'll have to see it sometime." She said eagerly, her eyes widening.

"Well I have to fix it again... the tech is from the alien race as that tall guy. He input some kind of command and now I can't get it's computer out of standby- Wait, we're getting off topic." Dib shook his head and removed his glasses, cleaning the lenses on his shirt before replacing them on his face. "Was anything missing from the lab?"

"I don't think so... the police report didn't mention anything, but the mainframe was definitely searched and some of the files are a mess, but it doesn't look like anything was taken." Dib snapped his fingers, whipping off his glasses and slid a very thin cord into the frames. With the press of a button the images uploaded into his laptop and sent one to her.

"Look, this is the same guy. Look at is hat and coat." Ghost Kitten paused, glancing down slightly at the image of Scorn standing next to Zim on her screen and nodded conclusively.

"Yeah, I seriously doubt there'd be two weirdos dressed like that... I'll be sure to bring this to Darkbooty for you."

"Do me a favor, Ghost Kitten? Try and find out if anything was taken from the mainframe at the lab and let me know. I'm going to run more surveillance on this guy." The silhouette of Ghost Kitten nodded again and she offered a little salute from her brow.

"I'm on it, Agent Mothman. Let -me- know when you have more, or if you get that ship fixed. Ghost Kitten out." The screen went dark and Dib leaned back in his chair.

"What're the odds that there was another Eyeball here in town?" He finished uploading the rest of the images he took with the spycam in his glasses and began studying them. He brought up the last picture he took of Scorn looking at him through the window of Zim's base and compared it to the last image from the security footage and stared into the same dark blue eyes.

Notes: Sorry for the delay, I've been caught up with work and I got stuck moving all weekend. A bit shorter than I originally intended, but not to worry. Stay tuned for Episode 3 Part Two: Paranormal Activity.


End file.
